Looking Back

Currently I should be writing a paper for grad school, but instead I am writing a blog and reflection on the past. So be prepared this could get a little ramble-y or long winded.

Fall is here, my favorite time of year!  Days like today take me back to Bowling Green and visits to Jackson’s Orchard for pumpkin picking, apple cider slushes and fun with friends.  I would love for a day to travel with a group of college friends for some fall fun.

I was also thinking today about how I graduated three years ago (in a couple months)! Crazy.  Seems like yesterday I was walking The Hill at WKU and spending my days in Tate Page & Cherry, hanging out at the BCM, making late night runs to GADS and surrounded by friends. I miss getting to pour my heart into the college life and having a community of friends all around me.  I miss cramming four girls into a tiny apartment with only one bathroom and dorm floods. I miss teaching family groups and Dgroups.  I miss going to football and basketball games and cheering on the TOPS!  I miss studying at baseball games, Spencers and the library.  I miss Mancinos, Griffs, Kyoto, Buckhead and Linzies!  I miss welcome retreat, FOCUS and road trips. I miss spring break and college mission trips.  I miss my jobs at the testing center and at LHBC.  I miss my small group of girls from LH and can’t believe that they are all freshman in college now!  There are days when I want to go back to college and enjoy it all over again.

Looking at pictures from my FFG kiddos who are Seniors in college and my Small Group girls who are Freshman in college I am blessed by all the Lord has taught me and the lives the Lord has let me pour into and has allowed to pour into me.  I am so blessed in the life I am in now and know that I will look back and reflect on this time in the years to come.

I am going to wrap this up although I could probably write all day about college and things of the past that I miss, but even though I miss the past, I love the present and am choosing to live here!


Love without Borders – Family is Forever

I had the pleasure of helping the Borders welcome home their two newest additions on Tuesday evening.  Stuart and Jenny went from a family of four to a family of six.  I enjoyed getting to see K&S unite with E&J and I can’t wait to see how they develop into a family.  There is something special about getting to see years of prayers, fundraisers, paperwork, and waiting become a reality.   This family truly has no boundaries or borders on their love for others and they have given these two precious kiddos from the Congo a forever home.


Here are some pictures from that special night.





I hope that one day I can be as dedicated and committed to the gospel as Stuart and Jenny are!


So as of late I have been struggling a lot with where I am at in my life.  It all started as I transitioned from college, living in BG, having some amazing friends, and being connected to a wonderful body of believers at LHBC to living in Lville, being a Master’s student, not having a church, or a friend group.


As I made this transition I hit a low place in my walk with Christ.  I stopped having a quiet time, I stopped opening the Word, stopped praying, and didn’t really want to do any of those things.  I was going to different churches trying to find one to call “home” but believing that I would never find one that could be seen as a home. I missed LHBC, the people and the ability I had to serve there and that is where I wanted to be.  I had become very close-minded.


Not only had I become close minded towards churches, but also people.  I didn’t think there could be people that cared about me like the ones I had left in BG.  I didn’t think that there were friends to be had and I didn’t really make an effort to make any.


Needless to say my close-mindedness had made my life a huge struggle from day one of living in Lville.  So where am I now?


Well, life is still a struggle, but I have learned and seen that God is still sovereign and in control.  He has put me at an amazing church, among amazing people, and really blessed me and opened my eyes to see that I do have a “home” in Lville.  I have been so thankful for the community at Springdale.  If it wasn’t for the people there and the Lord so noticeably moving in that place I would probably still be stuck in my close-minded mess.  This doesn’t mean that everything is hunky dory and I am always the best person and in the best mood, but it does mean that I am human and that I am moving towards being closer to God like I once was.


I have still had trouble finding a friend group, but have met some pretty awesome people that are beginning to fill this role.  Thankfully.  I am so ready to have the community I once had, because life without it has been super hard.


One a slightly different note – another reason Lville has been such a struggle has been my work situation.  The family I work for seemed great at first but as I got into things this was not the case at all.  They are good people, but they are not the fit for me.  I love their children, but cannot continue working with them.  So this coming Friday will be my last day as thier nanny.


Another struggle of Lville has been my class schedule.  I really like one of my classes, another one has huge potential, and the other I thought I would like, but is way harder than I expected and I just do not like it.  It might be the basis of me changing my degree.


Hopefully things in my life will continue to get better, getting involved at Springdale is just the tip of the iceberg for what the Lord has for me I feel.  I am working on getting my quiet time back on track, hoping to get involved more in a small group of believers to hold me accountable and to live life with, and hopefully I will find another job soon, because if not then my life will be another set of worries and struggles.


Well that is my rant and dumping of how I feel right now.  This is what I am doing instead of working on my Systematic Theology Paper that is due Tuesday.


I am missing out on our leadership team planning retreat this weekend and I was asked to skype in and talk to them about community and what it means etc.  Here is what I am going to talk to them about.  I learned a lot about community this summer and even though I am not an expert, it means a lot to me and I am praying that it is something that our BCM can strive for this year.

This summer was full of true community for me. I was surrounded by people who wanted to know me and wanted to grow with me and I felt the same about them. We lived together, served our God together, and just did life with one another. It was not always easy but it was rewarding to work through the difficult time, work past differences and be there for one another.

I wrote this entry in my journal when I was really struggling with what community was supposed to look:

“I am scared of relationships, of getting in too deep and then having to leave these people. Lord help me. Help me be transparent and open to community. I want to surrender and not fight. ”

God taught me that you have to know stories and build relationships to have community and I was a part of it all summer. It is easy to look at people and not get to know them because you aren’t going to see them past this week or this month or this semester, but in order to gain community you have to move past time and build relationships.

I have been reading through Job and in the beginning when he is being tested and going through some rough times his “friends” are only there to judge him and his situation. They don’t have a deep relationship and without knowing anything they are condemning him. They don’t see that Job is suffering because he is a righteous man. It was hard for Job to suffer without community.

Jesus was the prime example of what it meant to have community. He surrounded himself with a group of people who lived, served, prayed and went through life together. It wasn’t always easy for them, but that is what made it better.

In John 13 Jesus washes the feet of his disciples. He shows us and them that even the Savior was not above the people. The community is cleansed. We need to see that no one person on leadership is above another. We are all apart of a body and bring different things to the table, but we are to encourage and love one another. Together we can reach this campus and world for Christ, apart we are going to fail. It doesn’t matter if you are a senior or a freshman, president or just someone who helps out, we are all one community and we need to make an effort to get to know one another and to not just let people slide through.

My challenge for this leadership team is to build community among ourselves and then out to our BCM and our campus. It starts with us though.